Justin Lee Collins Chat

posted: 23 January 2008 by Anna Chapman

Hairy man mountain, Justin Lee Collins is back with a new series of The Convention Crasher. Below he tells us about losing his beard and his mind in the process...

Last time you performed as Tom Jones at a celebrity impersonator convention, who did you pretend to be in this series?
I chose three conventions - magic, ventriloquism and clowning. Magic was the one that appealed to me most because I loved it as a kid.

What sort of clown were you?
A red nosed Auguste clown called Wonky because I have a wonky face and no natural grace. You might think I'd veer towards a tramp/hobo clown so that I could keep my beard but that seemed lame. The beard had to go. It made me feel exposed on camera in a way I've never felt before. I'm a very different man to the one who grew the beard four years ago. I have four extra chins.

Was your ventriloquist puppet like your Friday Night Project partner, Alan?
No, he was made by someone who used to make Muppets and looks like Statler and Einstein. I called him Dr Albert Glendenning which was the name of our family doctor. He took on the personality of Nana Moon from EastEnders.

Which convention was the hardest?
Ventriloquism terrified me because it's stand up comedy with a puppet partner. I made a pledge to myself six years ago that I wouldn't do stand up again because it gives me sleepless nights. Then you have to give this inanimate object a voice and personality without moving your lips. It's an art.

Is it true you had a panic attack on TV?
Yes, when I performed Houdini's Metamorphosis as Justin Illusion. I'm claustrophobic and I didn't realise that I'd have to spend 30 seconds locked in a packing case in a sack in a tight bodysuit.

What did you learn?
That truth is funnier than fiction and you don't have to dress up to be funny. The whole clowning convention was filled with hardcore Christians who paint their faces and put on red noses and tiny hats to preach the gospel. I met a balloon sculptor called Ralph Dewey who made me Christ and showed me pictures of his balloon Last Supper. It's magnificent - the detail includes Judas Iscariot turning away and almost smiling.

Will you do more convention crashing?
Hopefully, it's the best thing I've worked on but I find it hard to watch because I completely drop my guard. Even though I'm performing I'm not hiding behind anything, which is the irony of this show. There are so many conventions all over the world but America has brilliant ones like mind reading and Father Christmas, which is held in the summer.

Where else can we see you on C4 this year?
The Friday Night Project is back in March and I've just finished a 90 minute special Bring Back... Star Wars. People are always shouting: 'Bring back The Goonies' to me in the street so, that and Ghostbusters are my next priorities.

What can you tell us about Alan's new show Celebrity Ding Dong?
He's got fabulous guests like Chris Moyles, Davina and Paul O'Grady. I'm not on it - it's out of my league. But Al's not just my partner on The Friday Night Project he's one of my best friends. We're planning to go to Miami on holiday together again this summer.

The Convention Crasher, C4, Thursdays from 17 Jan, 10pm

Anna Chapman - Anna Chapman blagged her way into a job at The Face 12 years ago so she could get free CDs. Next she spent two summers on the Space terrace editing worldpop's Ibiza website. Staff jobs at Sky and Sleazenation and freelance ramblings for weighty titles like The Guardian, Vogue and Time Out kept her in beer money before Que Pasa snapped her up to launch Virgin Mobile BITES in 2004. Thanks to her one-year-old daughter and a move to Channel 4's WAP site, she spends more time clearing up than talking rubbish.